candor (candor) wrote,
candor
candor

  • Music:

yeah? what? so?

no time to update my daily diary, yet I come here to wonder why I come here when there's no time to update my daily diary (which is, as you must know by now, or at least I hope you do, elsewhere... for now) even as these little flies buzz around and bug the crap out of any ability to focus and concentrate I might have left in my sleep-deprived and probably more depressed than I let myself know brain...

is it because I want the kind of attention some of you get here at LJ, the appearance of having a lot of wonderful people commenting because they truly care and are interested in knowing you and even meeting up and sharing some time in space and fun?...

is it because I sense the widespread depression in the air and the coming recession and potential for atrocities and madness that might or might not lead to another resurgence of frivolous enlightenment like the roaring twenties or sixties (and in the face of conservative hatred of change and repression of open minds dominating the human race these days, am I still trying to be the hippie I once was or thought I might have been?)...

what's that got to do with writing here?

or maybe I am just trying to stay alive even as the walls crumble all around me and nobody is actually noticing except for a few of you online who are unfortunately a bit too far away to hold the umbrella or pick up any pieces...

start here and after you find time to read all the way through (even though it's far from complete, especially the commentary), let me know what you think...

maybe I am still wishing I was in with the UK in crowd (or am I just teasing myself and hoping someone else laughs too)... do you know?... or how about you... lost in all the mysteries, fading into histories, how much time is left, after the theft...

Ryan Adams sings Wonderwall...

I shout out to all my friends here and wish you bliss, or at least comfort... and wonder what the heck is going on in my head (anybody providing any clues will be most appreciated and who knows, you might even win an all expenses paid trip to a swamp, or a theme park, or a nice spot under a tree, even)...

if I wrote here more, I wonder what I would say.
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