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my candor could be yours

9th January, 2001. 10:45 pm. where I've been all your life (and part of mine too) J

testing... if I repeat it, will it sound more professional?... testing... testing... and a one and a two and ummmm, whatever am I doing here?... ok, so I decided to explore this community journal site to see if anybody might notice the babbling I've been doing on the web for a few years... the webgate is where I live online (and I used to live online more than I do now cuz I've always loved words and writing is breathing for my psyche or whatever the coool word for the ethereal being we can loosely call me is right now... in other words, I write a lot... much of it may be nonsense for many and some is nonsense for me, but it's part of life for me so if you come here you'll be subjected to it... you do have a choice and I appreciate a positive choice... anyway, I don't live online much these days cuz I'm looking for life offline so call if you really want my attention {and I hope you do}... email is slower, but I'll check it eventually)...

the point of that rambling parentheses is I hope to find friends offline... however that's not the reason I ramble in words (and in recent years, journals... this is the first time I've actually kept up a journal... the web has helped cuz it lets me believe someone is reading so I can feel like somebody cares about the mundane details of this life I occasionally call mine and the roller coaster of feelings I experience along the way... and here you can actually response online which maybe will mean something more cuz sharing makes everything more real... wanna new friend?)...

I tend to wander off in parentheses (is it noticeable?)... anyway, I started writing when I was a much littler child... it was my way of figuring things out and expressing myself even when nobody cared (which seemed often) or understood (which seemed more often)... still does... so it'll be totally self-centered at times as if you're not even there and since I already know this you don't need to offer kind or cruel advice to help me become less self-centered (if you assume selfishness, keep in mind that it is your assumption and not fact... I believe in getting to know someone before trying to tell them the facts of their life... and personally, I think centering within oneself is necessary for spiritual evolution, but that's another story)...

wanting to share life brings me here... writing and singing and other solitary activities are fun and what I do when I am alone, but I'd much rather be sharing most of the time because most everything is more fun when shared with people who know how to share... do you?... wanna? J

if I forget to come here to update, remind me... you'll find me at my website or email me or call or bump into me somewhere if you're ever in Orlando... as my website says, true friends are very welcome J

Candor Communications    �2001

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