candor (candor) wrote,
candor
candor

the relativity of time

is never more apparent to me than here... for this was the first place I came as I drifted from the womb I created in a vain attempt to believe in a mother who turned out to be a fucker in the most painful sense of the word and to reach out to the world from a position of rebirth yet, for all the time that passed away from the womb and between now and the beginning of this first step into the world of public community site writing, this is where I've been scattered most of all...

in the past six months I've been returning to the concert floor averaging at least a concert a week, though that's slowed considerably this month (perhaps that is why I am away so late on a work night, late because now I work days after years of working nights... perhaps is it excess energy and increasing hunger to share, to socialize, to interact with people... to be understood and appreciated and cared for... a boy can dream, aye?)... you can find a list of most of the concerts I've squirmed my way to the front of the stage at over in the real time blog (and if google gets their act together I might keep it there) where I am supposedly trying to keep track of the events of the day offline in brief (yes brief) entries...

also in that time space, I've started blogging over at my myspace blog... somehow I am attracting a few readers there and the my perception of the publicness of the site is influencing my writings in strange and enjoyable ways (for me, at least)... of course there's a voice in the background of my mind singing I'm just a man who's intentions are good, oh lawd, please don't let me be misunderstood and amused by the spectacle I am imagining it might become as real people from my real offline life, people I see daily, people with whom I live and work are fully aware of and connected as myspace friends there... it's been mentioned in passing, but nothing specific and nobody's asked or confronted me about anything yet and hopefully they are enjoying the ramblings and rhymes...

I am still babbling on and on and on (ad infinitum) in life in black and white behind the candoor (which would have been called behind the candor if someone else hadn't beaten me to my own name over at diaryland), though I am uploading in sudden spurts which completely befuddle virtually my whole audience there (and it was the largest once upon a time when I wasn't so haphazard and, well, befuddling)...

and there are other places (some mentioned previously, some new that I'll probably mention and link somewhere down the line)... one that comes to mind is a tribute to December 1st that inspired me to open a place for it, like there's a place for us, somewhere a place for us and for all who were once in love...

there's also a new local public blog hoping others in Florida will pick up it and will use it... my addiction to writing has not subsided, I just slipped so far out of the habit of coming here I even somehow messed up the password and had to reset it (even though I remembered it correctly... maybe it was the new security layer they put here)...

and just tonight I put yet another local personal online (which is amusingly ridiculous as I rarely get back to my onion blog (see previous entry for a link) , and what with just a few dozen (if that many) member so far (and maybe a half dozen females and yes, though I am not in the least homophobic, I still find my sensual attractions lead me to a narrow set of females, for what it's worth to ya), I don't expect much... I did write a message to one person there... now if I just remember to check before the new year...

and I signed up for a new writer's board (and wrote yet another odd introduction which I'll most likely include in a future behind the candoor babble), though only nine people have gotten there ahead of me, so it's quiet enough to be hunting wabbits over there...

and the new job, to jump offline a moment, that's much fun (who'd have thought data entry would be fun?.. just me)... actually, they call me a clinical data specialist and I do assessments and play other clinical roles, but I've been having much fun creating databases and spreadsheets and queries and forms and reports and flow charts and all sorts of fun for the directors and they've been loving me up with Fish Awards (wow, huh?)... adjusting to the day shift was a breeze, though every now and then I get the urge to stay up all night writing... like tonight)...

I probably left out a lot, but I'll leave some for next time just in case I get back here before the next millennium (probably will)... maybe consolidating my babblings and rhymes in one personal domain would be the best idea all around, but so far that
s not in the works... and until it is, I'll come wandering back here now and then, like a long lost friend, singing sure is good to see you once again...

hope you are loving life as much as you can and life is loving you even more...

nite nite :)
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